Forgetful Friday

Warning: I'm feeling pouty today, so read on at your own peril.

Friday is my least favorite day of the week, even though I keep a standard Monday through Friday schedule. It's the only day that I work a full 8 to 5 day (the rest of the week I have classes to break up the time) and it always drags. Usually I sit at my desk being bored and eating so that all of my lunch and snacks are gone by 11.

That's not happening today, though, because I forgot my lunch at home! It's been a while since I made that mistake, and it sucks. It was a great lunch, too, all pretty and bento-y. At least I remembered to take it out of the fridge so it's getting all warm. Maybe the puppies will figure out how to get into it and spread it all over the house. That would be great.

Anyway, I'm doing okay without it. I'll go to Kroger here pretty soon and pick some stuff up. I guess it just goes to show how much I eat food just because it's there and not because I'm actually hungry. I had a good breakfast, the same one I always have, and it has tided me over until almost lunchtime.

I have been playing fast and loose with my extra points this week and now I only have 3 flex points to get me through the weekend. Yesterday I decided I needed to buckle down and knock that crap out, but I'm just so hungry all the time, still. Well, not hungry but just wanting to eat. Fat or thin, I am totally food-addicted. I'm two weeks into maintenance and I feel as deprived as I ever did when I was losing. I don't even notice a difference with those extra five points a day.

I am afraid this is how it's going to be the rest of my life. Just like I had to accept the fact that I will have sore muscles every day if I keep working to be fit, I guess I also have to be hungry or feel deprived all the time if I want to eat the right amount of food. It helps to remember that even when I eat like crap, I'm never satisfied. I guess unsatisfied and healthy is better than feeling and looking like crap all the time and feeling unsatisfied. It still sucks.