I was up 0.2 pounds at my weigh-in last Monday, even though I was expecting a 1- to 2-pound loss. My reaction was anger. I felt ripped off that I had gone all weekend without alcohol or junk food, specifically so I would see a good result at weigh-in and I still didn't get what I felt I deserved. It's not rational, but anger rarely is.
Then in my meeting the topic just served to further piss me off. It was about overeating and binging and sneaking food. The leader was talking about, "Come on, we all do it," etc. I know that I have done that in the past and that there are weeks when that would have been an appropriate topic for me. But since in this particular case I had done nothing wrong and still wasn't getting results, it just served to fuel my bad mood.
Then the little book that we read said to try to be perfect only 80% of the time. I was like, I WISH! If I was imperfect 20% of the time, do you know how fast my weight would shoot up? And the exercise booklet talks about try to take a brisk 30-minute walk three days a week, and use three- to five-pound dumbells when lifting. Who are these people who can get results with that little of effort?
I know I'm supposed to be cutting myself some slack or at least only talking positive, but slack does not work for me. I don't know how much tighter I can make my program short of actively gaining an eating disorder. I wanted to talk to the leader about it, but she says unless you're plateauing for four weeks, it's not a plateau. So I'll give it three more weeks and see how it goes. I just fear that at this rate I won't even see 40 before Christmas.
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